I am currently trying to write my first novel and I would love any feedback you might have to offer! Constructive comments are very welcome and won’t be taken personally. I will, from time to time, post a page or two from my novel for your review. Thank you in advance Lotophagi for your help!
I am trying to remember how many times in my life I have been asked to sign here…I know for humans it is a very common request, but in all honestly it only comes down to one time for me. When I was presented with this assignment I was asked to sign this magical gold sea scroll. I have written my name in sand many times at this point in my life, but never has it been on anything so formal such as this. I dip the elaborate fish bone, which must have come from a pacific Sockeye, into the squid ink and sign Iara. The moment I finish a rush of water twists around me with such force that I lose all focus and my vision blurs. I have become entrapped in an underwater tornado. For the first time in centuries I can hear the winds above this water-world howling. It has been many years since I ventured above the sea, for humans have come to bore me. They no longer believe in the magic of this world and prefer to cause wars with one another over their new religions.
Ah, to feel the wind again, I have missed this element of our mother most of all. It does not speak to me as powerful has it had in my youth but the fresh smell is so different from that of my salty sea. A storm has broken out over head and the water shifts and rolls waves all around me. Fear starts to overcome me. “Does this happen every time,” I scream out into the emptiness as my body unwillingly starts to move. My memory fades and the spinning increases. It seems like many moons have come and gone before I awake again.
I open my eyes to find I am inside the most beautiful coral I have ever seen. The coral is large enough to encase my whole body with a silky smooth violet and is trimmed with a teal, mint, blue. I have never seen a coral this large and it is hard to believe one would even exist. The storm seems to be long gone for the water surrounding me is calm and comforting. There is a hole just above me that seems like it might be large enough for me to swim out of. As I emerge from the coral and look around, I see sights I have never seen before. Up until this moment I would have told you that I have seen everything there is to see in this watery world. Lord knows I have spent thousands of years swimming the seven seas. I have swam to the bottom of the deepest ravines and returned many times but this world, this ocean, I have never seen before.
The coral stretches out before me for leagues on end with more colors than a rainbow could imagine. I can feel each piece breathing in deep relaxing breaths of salty water, they don’t seem to have a care in the world. Normally, they always have some sense of pain running through them as fish nibble off branches that some have taken years to grow. Or when humans come through and destroy them with chemicals not made from the sea. Coral reefs are quickly disappearing from the waters in which I have visited. I have heard the whales sing of such beauty, only to believe that the songs were passed down from generation to generation and so forth. Could such a place really exist where there are no predators, even for the smallest of coral to freight about? “Where am I? What magic is this?,” I whisper while taking in my surroundings.